Teach kids to walk away from uncomfortable activities

Having just returned from a conference at an Italian university where I spent much time "getting lost", I recall my own university orientation as I mull over reports on "sexualised" orientation events at the National University of Singapore.

I had opted to join a group of "seniors" from the Varsity Christian Fellowship who were taking us around the then-new Kent Ridge campus.

Although this batch of seniors had themselves only just moved from the Bukit Timah campus, they did their homework and pointed out to us the yellow ceiling that connected the whole campus, where to find the toilets, how to use the library, where the departments for our intended majors were located, how to sign up for tutorials, and even the shuttle bus system.

For this, I am eternally grateful.

The "sexualised" orientation activities I read about are more about rituals - of rebellion - although some call these "rites of passage". The organisers have the mistaken idea that such activities would help in team-building, "spiritual bonding" or the making of fictive kin.

Those who succumb to peer pressure to "perform", no matter how humiliating the rituals, become an "insider". The "outsider" tribe is deemed squeamish and uncool.

Parents should tell their children to walk away from activities that make them feel uncomfortable for whatever reason.

Someone, somewhere (perhaps even a potential spouse) will notice that the individual is not prepared to compromise personal principles for a few minutes of "easy passage" into a community that they may not actually wish to belong to.

University is an exciting time of life to explore ideas.

The objectification of a woman's body (or man's, for that matter), however, is never acceptable. Rape, even if only simulated and thus "institutionalised", must never be condoned.

Lee Siew Peng (Dr)