They still do: 7 elderly couples talk about love and marriage

The first time Mr Terlok Nath, 82, and Madam Satya Sharma, 79, saw each other was in a photograph – theirs was an arranged marriage, and their courtship took place through letters. She, a teacher from Malaysia, and he, an army officer from Singapore, got to know each other through their written exchanges.

Madam Satya said she married the man of her dreams: “I always dreamed of marrying a uniformed personnel, and also someone with no beard.” With a laugh, Mr Nath said: “If I’m the captain, she’s the general.”

After tying the knot in Kuala Lumpur in December 1969, they returned to Singapore, only to be greeted by heavy floods. “All the vehicles could not move,” he recalled.

In 1976, they became among the first residents of Marine Parade, where they raised two sons.

“Someone once asked me, ‘Does your wife ever scold you?’ I said. ‘Yes, of course, she scolds me, she even beats me up!’ But to me, the scolding is music to my ears and the beating is like a massage,” Mr Nath jokingly said.

Mr Anwar Yahya, 77, and Madam Badariah Abbas, 77, met at the wedding reception of a mutual friend, and it was love at first sight for both. Although they only exchanged glances and not contact numbers, their paths crossed again.

They ran into each other at Capitol Theatre, where they ended up watching a movie together. They cannot recall the name of the movie they watched because they spent the entire screening talking to each other.

To learn more about her and her family, he turned up unannounced at her doorstep during Ramadan.

“I was so shocked! He wanted to know how his future wife behaves at home,” she said with laughter. What he also discovered was how much he loved her cooking – assam pedas, fish head curry and rendang. “After I ate her food, I could not eat outside cooking,” he said.

The couple, who have no children, share common interests in football and community work.

To the couple’s recollection, they have not been apart since marriage. “He never leaves me behind. If I cannot go (somewhere), he will not go as well. Very romantic, right?”

At 14, Madam Balvinder Kaur was the new arrival in Whampoa estate. Mr Jagtar Singh, 21, a police constable living one floor below her, noticed her family moving in and offered his help.

As the only Punjabi families in the block, a Chinese neighbour suggested that they date. They began doing so discreetly, as her father was strict.

To arrange outings, Mr Singh, now 76, would pass notes to her through his younger brother. Madam Kaur, 69, told her family she was attending sewing classes. “There were no sewing classes,” she said with a laugh.

They rode on his Honda motorcycle to MacRitchie Reservoir, enjoyed ice cream at a small coffee house and even took an impromptu trip to a photography studio, a memory she still cherishes.

They held hands for the first time during the first movie they watched together – Count Dracula – at Capitol Theatre. They married in September 1974.

Over the years, their bond was tested when Mr Singh, who was juggling his work as a police officer and running a part-time catering business, faced health issues. Madam Kaur stepped in, helping with the business. “It is no secret that patience, understanding and compromise are what it takes for a lasting marriage,” she said.

Mr Patrick Teo, 73, and Madam Juliana Lau, 74, met while working in Jurong Town Corporation – he as a land surveyor and she as a draftsman.

Their relationship blossomed over lunches at work and going to parties and trips to Malaysia with colleagues. They married in November 1974.

Madam Lau was once frustrated by Mr Teo’s work commitments, but eventually learnt to resolve their differences with patience.

For them, embracing love and understanding each other is a daily commitment.

Mr Farleigh Vincent Clarke, 73, a former national hockey player who was part of the team that won the gold medal at the 1973 South-east Asian Peninsular Games, met Mrs Jean Magdelene Clarke, now 78, in 1967.

They spent time together in groups at parties and movies, and her strict parents allowed them to date openly only after he enlisted for national service.

While dating, they enjoyed going to nightclubs to listen to and dance to disco and rock ‘n’ roll music. After about six years, they married in 1973 when he was 22.

Mr Clarke worked as an aviation supervisor with Shell, while Mrs Clarke was a primary school teacher. In the early years of their marriage, their finances were tight, but they lived within their means.

Their advice on love: love your family, forgive, sacrifice, share problems and support each other.

They were just teenagers when they met on a public bus to their schools – he from St Joseph’s Institution and she from Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus.

After Mr Peter Chua finally gathered the courage to speak to the petite Madam Molly Foong, their small talk turned into breakfast and movie dates at the old Alhambra Theatre, Singapore’s first air-conditioned cinema.

They got engaged while Madam Foong was in Secondary 3 and married six months later, in February 1956.

Their marriage advice: it is not about giving each other gifts, chocolates and flowers, but about trust and sabar (Malay for patience), especially now as they care for each other in their old age.

When asked if they hold hands when they are out, Madam Foong laughs and says, “No lah, where got hold hands, I hold my tongkat (Malay for walking stick).”

“These days, we talk about pain more than anything else.”

Mr Lee Peng Wah, 73, and Madam Corrine Thomas, 70, first met in 1972 at Redhill Community Centre, where they were part of a community dance group. “Corrine is beautiful, but the most important thing is that she is a very humble and homely person,” he said.

“We managed to convince both our parents to allow us to get married. It was hard work, but we were confident (it would work out),” Mr Lee said.

The couple not only got married in a mixed-religion ceremony at St Theresa’s Church but also raised three children with a blend of religious influences.

Their eldest son follows Buddhist traditions, as Mr Lee’s parents helped care for him. Their daughter and other son were raised as Catholics under the care of Madam Thomas’ parents.

“There’s nothing wrong (with) being in a mixed-religion marriage. We give and take, and respecting each other is very important, regardless of race and religion,” said Madam Thomas, who helps clean and prepare items for Mr Lee’s Buddhist altar at home.

“I Still Do” is an annual initiative by Families for Life that celebrates love, commitment and marriage. From Feb 14 to March 14, a series of online programmes, resources and activities will be held to help married couples strengthen their relationships.

For more information, go to https://familiesforlife.sg/pages/i-still-do-2025.