For 10 days, she lay unconscious in intensive care at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. When the mother of three, who was then 49, awoke, she had lost strength and coordination on the right side of her body and her ability to speak.

Nothing was the same again for Madam Koo and her family.

Before the stroke, Madam Iris Koo had long hair but now has short hair because it is easier to maintain.

Her youngest child, Lee Min Rong, who was 17 at the time, was especially affected. Unable to focus on studying, he decided to repeat his first year in junior college.

“I was very paranoid about whether she would make it. I wanted to continue my own life to do something for her in future. But I felt like I was not doing enough to support her and show her love. The biggest fear was not being able to make more memories and get to know her more,” he said.

Min Rong, now 19, said that when he was growing up, his mum was his constant companion. They would go shopping or go for karaoke together. As the youngest child, he was the closest to her.

Madam Koo’s youngest child, Lee Min Rong, says that despite his mother’s stroke, she still makes it a point to tell him to comb his hair and make sure he looks presentable before he leaves the flat.

A housewife for most of her life, Madam Koo wanted to work again once Min Rong was done with secondary school.

She got a job as a human resource assistant, and later as a chef’s assistant, acquiring the qualifications she needed for the roles in addition to her secondary school education.

She balanced her odd working hours with household chores and cooking for the family at the weekend. A sociable and outgoing person, she also found the time to meet her friends.

As she lay in hospital, her husband of 29 years, Mr Melvin Lee, 53, was racked with guilt.

Mr Melvin Lee and Madam Koo have been married for 29 years.

Before her stroke, Madam Koo had high blood pressure, and Mr Lee, who was then working as a senior planning manager in the telecommunications sector, blamed himself for not making sure she took her medication.

Madam Koo having her blood pressure checked. She still has high blood pressure but now takes her medication to keep it under control.

“She wasn’t even 50 yet, so I didn’t really expect a stroke to happen at that point,” he said. “I thought if it happened, it would be 10 to 20 years later.”

STROKE STATISTICS

Stroke is Singapore’s fourth leading cause of death, accounting for 6.8 per cent of all deaths each year.

 ST PHOTO: SHINTARO TAY

The stroke incidence rate among Singapore’s population for those aged 50 to 59 increased from 218.9 per 100,000 people in 2010 to 248.9 in 2020.

After 10 days, Madam Koo was transferred to a regular ward, and then to Ang Mo Kio-Thye Hua Kwan Hospital for her recovery.

She was discharged two months after she was admitted to intensive care. Her family was told that her first year of recovery was crucial. But it was hard going. For one thing, she had trouble expressing herself but would not go to speech therapy.

Madam Koo with senior speech therapist Voon Siew Wei at Stroke Support Station (S3) at Jurong Point. She was initially reluctant to go for speech therapy at the community hospital but opened up to the idea when she joined the non-profit S3.

“She would try to tell me something, but I wasn’t able to understand,” said Mr Lee, who recalled how he once punched the bed and hit his own head out of frustration.

“There were a few times she broke down crying when she was unable to express herself,” said Ms Jackeline Lee, 25, the couple’s eldest child.

However, Mr Lee learnt to manage his emotions and worked together with the family to support Madam Koo. He installed handrails and anti-slip mats at home and hired a domestic helper.

Mr Lee installed handrails and anti-slip mats in the home to make it easier for Madam Koo to use the bathroom.
The family’s domestic helper Myo Htet Htet Aung pushing Madam Koo in her wheelchair at a supermarket in Jurong Point as Madam Koo shakes her head to indicate that she doesn’t want her husband to buy papayas.

Whenever he can, he will accompany her to the foot of the block that their five-room flat is in to encourage her to do her exercises.

At weekends, Mr Lee accompanies Madam Koo as she does her exercises at the foot of their housing block. He works together with the family to support her in her recovery. ST VIDEOS: SHINTARO TAY

Madam Koo’s recovery was slow until November 2023. A stroke survivor spotted her in a wheelchair at Jurong Point, and encouraged her to join the Stroke Support Station (S3) located in the mall.

Madam Koo and Madam Kwek Ai Hiong (right) chatting during a break in between activities at the Stroke Support Station at Enabling Village. Madam Kwek is a fellow stroke survivor who persuaded Madam Koo to join S3.

S3 is a non-profit organisation that helps stroke survivors.

Madam Koo using an exoskeleton during a physiotherapy session at S3 at Jurong Point. The exoskeleton enhances mobility and improves her posture.
Madam Koo playing a game using a machine that trains fine motor skills in her right hand, which was affected by the stroke.

Madam Koo began attending speech therapy and actively participated in physiotherapy, occupational therapy and wellness programmes.

Madam Koo taking part in a singalong session. She has always loved singing Mandarin and Cantonese pop songs, and the sessions at S3 give her a chance to sing again.
“I love sing”, Madam Koo writes as a way of introducing herself during a workshop at S3 at Enabling Village. The programme aims to teach stroke patients how to communicate better.
Madam Grace Poon (left), 71, who is also a stroke survivor, encouraging Madam Koo to persevere in her recovery journey. Madam Poon has been urging Madam Koo to be active and use her weaker arm more to help with her recovery.

With practice at home as well, she can now walk short distances with a walking stick. Her family saw her old self returning as she learnt to communicate through facial expressions, hand signals and some basic speech.

Madam Koo still experiences weakness in her right arm and does exercises like squeezing household objects such as sponges. She is self-motivated to recover and exercises at the foot of her block of flats twice a day, on top of her rehabilitation at S3. ST VIDEOS: SHINTARO TAY

“Her sense of humour remains. When dad or I get frustrated, she would start laughing, which helps to lighten the mood,” said Jian De, who recently completed his national service.

Min Rong said that the stroke took away many things, but it never took away his mother’s smile.

Madam Koo interacting with a cat during a therapy session at Wildflower Studio. She is not a cat lover, but is open to new experiences. She actively participates in physiotherapy, occupational therapy and wellness programmes.

“When she initially couldn’t sit up and move, it was quite depressing for me, but when she improved a lot, it helped me to gain strength,” Mr Lee said.

Madam Koo’s recovery also inspired Mr Lee to leave his job, which he thought was a toxic environment, and find a new occupation. He is now a service delivery manager in a technology firm.

Mr Lee said his wife’s recovery inspired him and gave him the strength to leave his previous job, which made him feel depressed.

“It was also healing for me to see my dad take care of my mother because there was a time when they fought a lot and I thought that they might get a divorce,” said Jackeline.

Mr Lee helping Madam Koo walk up a flight of stairs as part of her exercise routine.
When Madam Koo felt demoralised at one point while doing her exercises, Mr Lee responded by helping her with a hand exercise and telling her: “It’s okay, you will get better!”

“We were able to have more honest conversations about our feelings. This event made us think about the fragility of life, so it made us want to try to put more effort into getting closer as a family,” said Jackeline.

The family having a meal together at home in Jurong West.

Weekends for the couple are now spent doing things like having a meal, getting acupuncture and going to the supermarket together.

At weekends, Mr Lee sits beside Madam Koo as she watches drama serials. Their middle child, Jian De (right), is at home most of the time as he has just completed his national service.

Madam Koo takes the lead during grocery shopping at the supermarket and insists on carrying a shopping basket in her lap.

Madam Koo communicating with Mr Lee using hand signals as they shop for groceries. She insists on carrying a shopping basket in her lap.

Madam Koo turns 52 on Oct 29, which is World Stroke Day.

The family is planning a trip to Hong Kong in 2025.

LOVE AND SMILES

When asked how she feels about the trip, her face lights up with a bright smile.

 ST PHOTO: SHINTARO TAY

The family hopes for her to recover enough to walk longer distances.

“I don’t need to do much to encourage her because she is self-motivated and does her exercises in her own time,” Mr Lee said.

After an hour of waiting to see a traditional Chinese medicine specialist, Madam Koo became restless, so she got up to walk on her own.

“It feels good to know that she’s able to be independent,” Jian De said. “Seeing her progress makes me happy, I admire her optimism despite everything she has gone through.”

On a family outing to the Botanic Gardens in September, Madam Koo walked up a slope on her own, refusing to be pushed in a wheelchair.

At the top, she took in the view and asked Min Rong to take a picture of her.

On a family outing to the Botanic Gardens in September, Madam Koo walked up a slope on her own, without using a wheelchair. At the top, she took in the view and asked younger son Min Rong to take a picture of her to commemorate the moment.
The children rarely go on family outings but decided to go with their parents to the Botanic Gardens in September to spend more time with the family. They know their mother values family outings like this.
Madam Koo’s youngest son Min Rong adjusting her feet so that she can sit comfortably in the wheelchair as they prepare to leave the Botanic Gardens.

“I’m happy the stroke hasn’t stopped her. When I think about her now, I have new fond memories where I have the responsibility to take care of and love her in my own way,” said Min Rong.

S3 is organising an open house on Oct 24 with rehabilitation gym tours, free workshops and sharing sessions to let people learn more about post-acute care stroke recovery. Head to www.s3worldstrokeday.org.sg to find out more.