Relationship journeys, friendship break-ups and workplace drama – never have I ever been more invested in the lives of strangers on social media.
As a self-confessed lurker on social media – an internet user who passively observes what others have put up online – I have found myself thinking about random content creators who have given me so much access to vulnerable, personal details of themselves.
Between the public apologies and traumatic meltdowns being recorded for social media, are personal stories no longer for just our close friends or families?
Fascinated by how social media has blurred the line between what we share in public and private, I sat down for Episode 2 of The Usual Place – a new podcast series by The Straits Times – with content creators Candice Gallagher and Shaun Elias Chua, and Twitch streamer Jacey Vong.
For a start, I asked them what was the most personal thing they have ever shared on social media.
Candice, who works in marketing, said documenting her egg freezing process in the UK in 2023 made her feel very exposed. She documented the two-week process on her social media account. She said it was “physically, emotionally and financially demanding”.
Still, she was spurred on to tell her story.
“When I’m sharing really personal things like the egg freezing, or even my experience dating, if I can help one person, it’s a 100 per cent worth it to me,” said Candice, who has close to 80,000 followers on TikTok.
Shaun, a marketing and design executive, used social media to come out to his grandmother. He said he did so as he was ready to enter into a relationship.
While he did not end up dating the guy, Shaun – who has about 23,000 followers on TikTok and 3,600 followers on Instagram – realised there are many others out there like him who struggle to understand their sexuality.
He hopes to use the platform to share his own journey of discovering his true identity.
Jacey, who has a day job as a legal counsel, struck me as a reluctant sharer.
With about 25,000 followers on Twitch, where she live-streams herself playing video games, and another 18,000 on Instagram, Jacey said she shared about the trauma she experienced growing up because her viewers asked her about it.
“Usually with livestreaming, I think I will take whatever the audience throws to me,” she said. “I just felt like I had to answer them, (but) it turned out to be a quite interesting content idea that was not planned at all.”
Opening themselves up online means that the trio enjoy the community, but also, at times, have to deal with haters, trauma dumping from followers, xenophobic comments and even a stalker.
Recently, Jacey met a viewer who turned up uninvited at her house. She had to tell him to leave because his presence made her feel uncomfortable.
As someone who often shares online about his faith and sexuality, Shaun found himself replying to others who are going through the same issues as him.
He added: “I do feel for them, but I need to remind myself that I’m not the one who will change things for them.”
Candice has no problems with viewers who disagree with her, but she added that they should offer constructive criticism, rather than dish out offhand comments or slurs that try to tear her down.
One thing that is comforting to her, is how others will stand up for her in comment threads. “A lot of the times, if there’s a crappy comment, I don’t even have to say anything because somebody else will come in with a countering perspective.
“And then I think it’s healthy dialogue in the comments section.”
So where is the line between a healthy amount of personal information and oversharing?
As Candice put it: “I reject this concept of oversharing. It’s in the eye of the beholder.”
What is your take on using social media to discuss the more intimate details of your life? DM me on Instagram at @theusualplace_nat. Share with me your views on this episode or what topics you think I should discuss on my show.
I’ll see you next time at The Usual Place,
x Nat
Follow -
Candice Gallagher on TikTok: https://str.sg/KVvw
Shaun Elias Chua on TikTok: https://str.sg/AeCK
Jacey Vong on Twitch: https://str.sg/752E
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Produced by: Natasha Ann Zachariah (natashaz@sph.com.sg), Ernest Luis, Lynda Hong, Teo Tong Kai, Eden Soh, Joel Chng and Marc Justin De Souza
Edited by: Teo Tong Kai & Eden Soh
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