Anyone who has played sport knows that mothers make Merlin look like a mediocre wizard. You urgently require a tissue to sniff into after a loss? Shazam, here it is. Need a stern word of motivation? Hey presto, it arrives. Desperately want replacement goggles before a race? Out of thin air - or more likely a cavernous bag - it emerges.

Mothers of athletes have hit a billion practice balls and sat through a thousand defeats like Greek stoics. They could write best-selling books on what they see but, please understand, they're short of time. Too busy laying down the law for the toughest guys on the planet.