The Mother Load Podcast
‘You don’t have to do this perfectly to do it well’: Working motherhood and mental health
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In this episode, three mothers share their experiences of early motherhood, perfectionism and therapy.
Synopsis: Join us for a five-part series on working motherhood from July 3-31 with episodes out every Friday.
We begin with a question many quietly ask themselves: Why does motherhood feel so overwhelming even when everyone says it’s supposed to be joyful?
What happens when mum is depleted, running on empty, and yet still tries to keep going?
From the hormonal and neurological changes of matrescence to the relentless mental load of caregiving, we examine why motherhood can feel so all consuming – and why so many struggle in silence.
Host Vanessa Chelvan is joined by clinical psychologist Elysia Tan from Annabelle Psychology, who is navigating life with her nine-month-old daughter, and parent coach Joline Lim, co-director of Chapter Zero, who is raising two neurodivergent children.
Highlights (click/tap above):
5:45 Breastfeeding: Not so ‘natural’?
9:21 Mental health professionals struggle too
10:30 Vanessa on her struggles as a new mum to twins
16:30 No shame in seeking therapy
18:45 Returning to work as a new mum never gets easier
24:37 Dysregulation and the hand model of a brain
28:20 Parenting excavates your entire childhood
31:40 Reparenting and becoming the parents we wish we had
40:33 ‘Baby steps’ – tips on letting go
42:22 Millennial parents spend more time caregiving than boomer parents
45:30 When does hard become “too hard”? Recognising when mums need help
51:29 One actionable tip for mums
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Read more:
First Stop For Mental Health: https://mindline.sg/fsmh
It All Starts Hear: https://www.iash.sg/
Annabelle Psychology: https://www.annabellepsychology.com/
Chapter Zero: https://www.chapterzero.org/
Host: Vanessa Chelvan (vpchelvan@sph.com.sg)
Read Vanessa’s articles: https://str.sg/gr5Z
Follow Vanessa on LinkedIn: https://str.sg/jHdJ
Produced and edited by: Teo Tong Kai
Executive producers: Ernest Luis & Elizabeth Law
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Follow The Mother Load limited series every Friday (July 3-31):
Apple Podcasts: https://str.sg/8Kbv
Feedback to: podcast@sph.com.sg
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Helplines
Mental well-being
National helpline: 1771 (24 hours) / 6669-1771 (via WhatsApp)
Samaritans of Singapore: 1-767 (24 hours) / 9151-1767 (24 hours CareText via WhatsApp)
Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
Chat, Centre of Excellence for Youth Mental Health: 6493-6500/1
Women’s Helpline (Aware): 1800-777-5555 (weekdays, 10am to 6pm)
Tinkle Friend (for primary school-age children): 1800-2744-788
