To divorce, or not: She forgave, because of her children and faith

 This story was first published in The Straits Times on Oct 13, 2013

Anna, 41, wanted to leave her husband when she discovered he had another woman, but her children and her Catholic faith stopped her.

When the housewife asked her three teenage children how they would feel if she divorced their father, they were very affected. Her eldest son said he felt like killing himself.

So Anna (not her real name) promised not end her marriage of 18 years and to forgive her husband.

"When I go for confession, I know that God has forgiven me, so I must forgive him," she said.

About three years ago, she chanced upon an intimate SMS in her husband's phone from a woman colleague.

She confronted her husband, a sales manager in his 40s, but he denied being in a relationship with the woman, who was married with two children.

Anna believed him. It was only when the other woman's husband called her, threatening to hit her husband, that she realised she had been duped.

Anna was depressed for a few months after that.

But once she resolved to remain in the marriage, the couple worked things out. He broke up with the other woman.

Anna saw that they had problems in their marriage.

He was stressed by work and paying off credit card debts. He was uncommunicative with her too.

Over time, she knew her husband was sincerely sorry for what he had done. She has forgiven him.

She said: "Forgiveness is not a one-off thing, it is an on-going process. The reason I chose to forgive him is that I would feel miserable if I didn't do so."

 This story was first published in The Straits Times on Oct 13, 2013

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