‘Every life is precious’: How miscarriage shaped one mum’s journey to having baby No. 6

SINGAPORE – For most of her life, Kelly Ang was terrified of children.

“They seemed very unpredictable and I didn’t know how to interact with them,” said the 38-year-old freelance writer. “It felt like a lot of work.”

When she got married 15 years ago, she thought she would have one or two children, or perhaps three at most.

She is now expecting her sixth child, due in July. She and her husband, a 42-year-old teacher, have five children aged between three and 13.

Her path to motherhood has been marked by joy and heartbreak.

After her first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, she experienced a “seismic shift” in how she saw motherhood, realising that children could not be taken for granted.

Along the way, she has had five miscarriages, including the loss of a baby at 20 weeks’ gestation in 2025. She says she still mourns each child she lost.

Ang’s family is Catholic. “Every life is precious and we are living beyond ourselves,” she said.

“With every child we add to our family, the quality of life increases with joy, meaning and all the intangible stuff. 

“I feel my kids are not losing out by having more siblings, and each time I’m pregnant, they are very excited.”

In an era when most Singaporeans stop at having one or two children, a small group of parents, like Ang, are having larger families.  

The share of babies who were the fifth or subsequent child in their families accounted for 2.1 per cent of all babies born in 2025, up from 1.5 per cent in 2005. In 2015, the figure was 1.4 per cent.

In 2025, 614 such babies were born, up from 558 in 2005 and 587 in 2015, based on data from the Department of Statistics website. 

Having a large family has required sacrifices. It took Ang a few years to come to terms with the loss of her professional identity.

“I felt very judged. My boss asked me why I threw away my career, and I was worried about what others would think of me,” she said.

But since then, her focus has changed.

Where she once measured success through academic and career achievements, she now finds fulfilment in her children’s growth and in living a life centred on her family and others.

Still, the practical realities of raising five children with one main breadwinner can be demanding. Groceries for her family can cost between $2,500 and $4,000 a month.

The couple’s combined income is a low five-figure sum, which they declined to reveal.

To manage their budget, they eat at home Mondays to Saturdays, and restaurant meals are reserved for special occasions. Long-haul holidays are out, and holidays are usually to nearby destinations.  

They live in a three-bedroom condominium unit, and drive a second-hand eight-seater car. Ang said her mother-in-law helped with the car’s down payment.

People often ask her how she manages to divide her time and attention fairly among all children.

She said: “Being fair to each child does not mean giving them equal time and resources, but giving them the time and attention they need at that point.”

Her days are a non-stop whirl of activity, starting at 5.30am, when she gets the children ready for school.

A domestic helper helps her with chores, and Ang works from home in the morning after school runs.

Afternoons are spent ferrying the children to enrichment and training sessions, from Chinese lessons to dance and football. 

In the evening, she and her husband help the children with homework and spend time with them. After they go to bed, she tries to squeeze in some work before ending the day, often around midnight.

With five children, and a sixth on the way, Ang said family life is very “rich” and she delights in seeing them love and care for one another.

Her eldest, Gabriel, 13, is the most responsible one and looks out for his younger siblings. Tobias, 11, is the “life of the party”, while eight-year-old Isabella is “big-hearted”.

Lily Beth, five, is shy and reserved, while Christabel, three, is everyone’s favourite as she is at that “cute age”, Ang said.

She says motherhood has taught her to be more patient and giving. “I feel that my life has a lot of meaning. Each kid has also taught me a lot,” she said. “Now, I feel I have a bigger perspective and a bigger capacity to understand and hold space for people. I like myself more now than before I became a mum.”

As the eldest, Gabriel feels a strong sense of responsibility for his siblings. He added that they “brighten up the house in their own way”.

Tobias, the second eldest, said the best part about a large family is never being short of someone to play with. And if anyone is not around, it feels like “a piece of the puzzle is gone”.

As for whether baby No. 6 will be her last, Ang said: “I feel very tired from this pregnancy. Though I feel I’m done (having children), I think we would welcome any child that comes.”