Sumiko at 62: I’m learning to care less – and finding more peace
With age, my emotional bandwidth has shrunk and I have become more selective in how I use it.
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Learning to step back from relationships that drain us does not have to mean becoming socially isolated, says the writer.
ST ILLUSTRATION: MANNY FRANCISCO
I have always been a great worrier, not just for myself but also for those around me. I worry about the welfare and feelings of family and friends, and even strangers – foreign workers squeezed into the back of a pickup on a hot afternoon, the elderly woman manning the entrance to a public toilet, doormen at the hotels I stay in while on holiday.
Lately, though, I have found my emotional bandwidth shrinking. There is only so much emotional energy I have left in me, and I feel the need to ration it. My own life is already more than I can handle. I no longer want to be entangled in other people’s lives.