I consider it a credit to my independence of spirit that despite being married to a journalist who covers soccer and raising several young soccer fanatics, I've managed to absorb practically nothing about the sport. I can sit alongside them as they hoot and moan at players on TV, then still ask, after an hour, "Wait, are Spain the red ones?"

(Similarly, when I played softball as a kid, I'd forget whether I'd just batted and run to first base or whether I was the first baseman.)