There has been much discussion of adoption and the right to know the truth (Adoption not something negative or shameful to hide from kids, June 3; and At 23, he learns he's adopted, childhood friend is his sister, June 12).

My biological and adoptive mothers are sisters. When I was born in 1946, a year after the Japanese surrender, I already had three older brothers. The family was very poor.

My adoptive mother was suffering from gynaecological complications and had to have her uterus removed. It was then decided that I be "transferred" to my adoptive family.

From a very young age, I noticed unusual behaviour from both my mother and my aunt. My mother would make exhaustive efforts to coerce me to visit my aunt, who would shower me with much more attention than on my other cousins.

When I was 12, my aunt was hospitalised with an unknown illness, and my mother pressured me to visit her.

I refused. My mother cried. I was confused. I had so many uncles and aunts. Why was this one so special? It was then that my mother revealed the truth.

I tried to explain to my mother that for so many years, I had grown up with her, been cared for and nurtured by her, and that she was the only mother I knew and loved. Besides, I hardly knew my aunt, let alone loved her.

But seeing my mother sobbing, I relented.

I am still adamant that to me, my biological mother's credit was carrying me for nine months in the womb and going through the labour pain, while I owe my growth, health and happiness to the sacrifices my adoptive mother made to bring me up.

Mentally and emotionally, she's the only mother I can bond with and love.

There is nothing wrong about knowing the truth about the adoption, but I don't see how a woman has any moral right to reclaim a relationship with a child whom she gave away at birth.

Tan Pin Ho