Sometimes I'd rather be sandwich filling for a rock and a hard place than a father of two daughters who behave like they are training to be courtroom lawyers in the employ of wily criminals who will once again escape the long arm of the law.

When F and S quarrel and fight for their rights to retaliate, annoy, mock, taunt, gloat, sneer - there aren't enough verbs to describe their endlessly inventive bickering - they prefer to take their case to hapless me. It is my reward for introducing them to the concept of fairness.