Grief hurts and needs time to heal

Stay, care and listen, but when someone is in mourning, resist the urge to share thoughtless advice and platitudes


I was calm the day Deanna Bala died. Beloved wife and mother of three, she was a character in Channel 5's long-running Kin. If you get all your information about the vicissitudes of life from the soap opera, you may think real people offer condolences to those in mourning like its characters.

These included platitudes such as "You should be happy (Deanna) passed away peacefully" or "It's hard for me, too, but life goes on and keeping busy definitely helps".

Please or to continue reading the full article.

Get unlimited access to all stories at $0.99/month

  • Latest headlines and exclusive stories
  • In-depth analyses and award-winning multimedia content
  • Get access to all with our no-contract promotional package at only $0.99/month for the first 3 months*

*Terms and conditions apply.

A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Straits Times on November 04, 2019, with the headline 'Grief hurts and needs time to heal'. Print Edition | Subscribe