Grief hurts and needs time to heal

Stay, care and listen, but when someone is in mourning, resist the urge to share thoughtless advice and platitudes

I was calm the day Deanna Bala died. Beloved wife and mother of three, she was a character in Channel 5's long-running Kin. If you get all your information about the vicissitudes of life from the soap opera, you may think real people offer condolences to those in mourning like its characters.

These included platitudes such as "You should be happy (Deanna) passed away peacefully" or "It's hard for me, too, but life goes on and keeping busy definitely helps".

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A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Straits Times on November 04, 2019, with the headline 'Grief hurts and needs time to heal'. Print Edition | Subscribe