Listen up, you don't get to comment. That's the pot calling the kettle at 3am and asking what she's wearing.

''COMEDIAN STEPHEN COLBERT firing back at United States President Donald Trump for commenting on Today host Matt Lauer's firing after accusations of sexual misconduct

One of the almost irresistible impulses you have when you lose is to somehow justify why you lost and how you were mistreated: 'I did the right thing. I did.' The hardest thing to do is to just shut up.

'' SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN on former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton's campaign memoir, What Happened

The response was, 'That's right, I am a terrorist. I just do stand-up comedy on the side to keep a low profile.' I had others. Before (Osama bin Laden) was caught, they would yell, 'Where is Osama?' And I would be, like, 'I don't know; he hasn't texted me in forever.'

'' COMEDIAN KUMAIL NANJIANI on how he responded to racist hecklers