HELL OR HIGH WATER
Here is a great party game: Which Chris is The Man - Chris Evans, Pratt, Hemsworth or Pine? If you want Chris The Ladykiller, it's got to be Chris Pine, right? I mean, this dude is so boyishly handsome, he even breaks hearts ordering people about in the starship Enterprise in Star Trek as a baby-faced captain.
But, man, in this trailer, he is debunking all that hotness by ageing 10 years doing his best Complicated Matthew McConaughey impersonation as a scruffy, mustachioed modern-day bank-robber- cum-Robin Hood wannabe in Texas. Basically, Captain Kirk turns into Captain Crook here.
Pine and his older ex-con brother (Ben Foster, Pine's pal from The Finest Hours) rob banks to save their poor sick mum's family farm from foreclosure. Which, by the way, is a righteous noble cause to the untamable cowboys of Texas, like shooting a deer for blocking their view of a steer.
"I don't wanna miss watching a bank getting robbed that's been robbing me for 30 years," a local old-timer in a diner with a great window view, cheering the outlaw brothers on as folk heroes, says to Oscar winner Jeff Bridges.
He plays the veteran Texas Ranger chasing the pair and wears a cowboy hat more often than his underwear as with the best of the yahoos.
I tell you, this is American culture straight out of Trump country, where everybody is armed, loaded and half-cocked as rebels with a reasonable cause. Including even the good folks being robbed.
"You're d*** right I got a gun on me. Y'all gonna steal my gun too?" one fella at the bank counter asks the robber brothers as they check for hidden weapons. Yep, sure glad everybody here has his priorities straight.
I kinda like Nicholas Hoult, the Beast guy in the X-Men movies. He teams up with fellow Brit and upcoming Star Wars: Rogue One main gal, Felicity Jones, here as a couple accidentally caught up in a drug war between two men, who happen to be famous Oscar winners - Anthony Hopkins and Ben Kingsley.
I think they are all in Germany due to the overall Euro-thriller look here and clean highways until speeding German cars smash into one another like tin cans when Hoult turns this trailer into a Jason Bourne audition.
Kicking off the action, Hoult and Jones are cavorting semi-naked in the snow and, suddenly, Jones cannot get up due to some medical ailment and I am thinking, "Nicholas Sparks four-hankie romantic weepie". Until it turns out that to get money for his girlfriend's kidney transplant, Hoult has to steal an evil drug lord's (Hopkins) illegal stash in a container truck for weirdo gangster Kingsley.
"I wonder who this foolish man could possibly be," coos Hopkins, like Hannibal Lecter by way of King Lear, as his henchmen prepare to carve up Hoult when he is caught.
Whatever, but, you know, it is not the physical violence which I fear for Young Pup Hoult. It is the mental anguish of being caught between two very scary thespian lions here. This is GvH - Gandhi versus Hannibal - and this poor sod is caught right in the middle of it.
Tay Yek Keak