It's a good time to be a relationship coach in the US

NEW YORK (NYTIMES) - Ms Sofia Montijo's first two-hour telephone call with Ms Samantha Burns in November 2020 was spent assessing Ms Montijo's love life.

From then through last May, the women, who each live in Boston, focused on Ms Montijo's mostly unsuccessful dating history for an hour every two to three weeks on FaceTime, and in weekly texts and e-mails. For Ms Montijo, these conversations were supplemented with homework and workbooks. It cost her US$3,500 (S$4,800) in all.

In June last year, Ms Montijo, 37, started dating her current boyfriend. She described their relationship as the most successful one she has been in. "I knew I needed to change my dating patterns and I needed to find someone who specialised in that," she says of hiring Ms Burns, a psychotherapist who, in 2015, started a business coaching people through dating, relationships and break-ups.

Before the pandemic, Ms Burns says she received about five applications from new clients a week. That number has since doubled, she says, as people have had more time to "look at their relationships and to work on themselves".

As a result, she and other relationship coaches say they have seen an uptick in business from people who seek the goal-oriented, future-thinking approach of their work.

Some, like Ms Montijo, see it as an alternative to therapy, which often focuses more on process and the past. Ms Montijo says: "I saw Sam to understand how I can specifically date better."

Both coaches and therapists want to help people, but Ms Burns explains, "coaches excel at a certain skill and want you to as well".

She adds: "Coaching allows for direct feedback and change - you set a goal, then you meet it within a specific amount of time."

Mr Max Alley, who lives in the New York City borough of Queens, left his job in 2018 as a customer experience manager at dating app Coffee Meets Bagel to start Match Up Online Dating Coaching, which specialises in online dating. Before the pandemic, he says he would get five or six new clients a month. Now, he gets nine or 10.

He attributes the increase in number of clients to the fact that the pandemic made online dating the best and, sometimes, only way to meet others. "People realise their digital presence mattered more than their physical one," says Mr Alley, who charges US$200 for an initial two-hour consultation that includes tips on profile writing and picking photos, and US$100 an hour for follow-up sessions.

Ms Jessica Ashley, a divorce coach in Chicago who specialises in helping mothers go through the process, says the goal-setting element of coaching has become particularly appealing to clients because it can deliver structure and tangible achievements at a time when both may be lacking in people's lives.

"We are having a coaching moment because we need someone to stand beside us and make a plan, and then tell us we can do it," she says.

Like many coaches, she offers her services via packages, including a three-month plan that starts at US$3,300 and a six-month plan that starts at US$6,000. Business used to be reliably seasonal, she says, but has become steadier over the past two years.

"Back to school and after holidays were busier" before the pandemic, she says, but "in 2020 and through the middle of 2021, I was constantly busy". She adds: "I've consistently had double the number of coaching clients than before the pandemic."

Ms Corinne Reynolds, 41, director of advancement at Metropolitan Family Services in Chicago, where she lives with her daughter, hired Ms Ashley in January 2020 when she was divorcing her now former husband. Although Ms Reynolds was in therapy, she still felt overwhelmed. The pandemic made things worse, she says, by increasing her feelings of isolation.

"Therapy felt open-ended. I needed someone to give me advice, help me create a plan and have action steps," says Ms Reynolds, who worked with Ms Ashley for six months.

"Jessica helped me set weekly goals and created a better morning routine for myself and my daughter," adds Ms Reynolds. "She helped me find a lawyer and navigate the legal system. She reviewed my documents. I also joined her Facebook group of other women going through this experience, which made me feel less alone."

Ms Tirzah Stein, a licensed social worker in Denver, recently left her job in that field to start NearlyWed Coaching, which specialises in wedding and premarital coaching. Since opening her business in September, she says she has taken on 24 clients, with 18 signing up in February.

Because coaches do not have the same approach as therapists, Ms Stein says they can develop an intimacy with clients that can be helpful to achieving goals. "Being a coach, you don't have the same boundaries as a therapist," she says, who charges US$550 for four hour-long sessions and US$800 for eight.

She adds: "You show your emotions and are a human being. I'm a best friend who is still connecting as a professional."