Forum: There is no Mr or Ms Right - people change over time

A couple walks along Bartley Road on July 5, 2017.
A couple walks along Bartley Road on July 5, 2017.PHOTO: ST FILE

We need to come to our senses and accept certain realities in life. While women are looking for Mr Right, men are also looking for Ms Right (Give S'porean women more time to find Mr Right, says actress, Nov 3).

This has resulted in later marriages, compounded by the fact that both men and women want to stabilise their life financially before getting hitched. Yet divorce rates have still been climbing over the years.

There is no Mr Right or a Ms Right. Each person goes through different stages of development throughout life; and each stage forces a different behaviour from the same person in the face of new challenges and stressors.

At the same time, a person's relationships also go through different phases of change.

When new persons enter a relationship, for example, children, additional changes happen as the couple try to accommodate the newcomer.

All these indicate that change is the only constant in a relationship, and Mr Right and Ms Right will become totally different persons as they go through these stages of development.

So what is one do to make a relationship last? Learn to adjust, adapt and accommodate (3As).

If you are not versatile and flexible enough to follow the 3As, and remain stubbornly stuck on your ideal of Mr or Ms Right, then don't get married.

Frank Singam