Shared care hurts child if parents don't get along

The Family Justice Courts is absolutely right in asserting that shared care and control is suitable only when both parents are able to put aside their conflicts and co-parent effectively (Divorcing parents' willingness should be key factor in granting shared care, by Mrs Wong Mun Fai; March 30).

In situations where both parents are unable to get along, the child will end up in the middle of a vicious tug of war.

Awarding joint custody to parents who cannot get along can give ground to escalating opposition between the parents after the divorce.

In this scenario, the one who suffers the most is indubitably the child.

Parents who are out to seek revenge and make life difficult for their former partner can easily lose sight of the child's interests and well-being, and use the child to continue to strike at the former spouse by deliberately being uncooperative in joint decisions.

I agree that a two-parent household provides an optimal experience for a child. That is the ideal situation.

However, in a situation where parents do not get along, the idea of putting a child in the middle, in the hope that all parties will miraculously come together, is a pipe dream and continues to put the child's life on an excruciating path of disruption and indecision.

Lily Ong (Madam)

A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Straits Times on April 02, 2018, with the headline 'Shared care hurts child if parents don't get along'. Print Edition | Subscribe