Forum: Sexual intimacy necessary in marriage

Creating the mood for love starts with increasing the level of consideration and affection between partners in a marriage.
Creating the mood for love starts with increasing the level of consideration and affection between partners in a marriage.PHOTO ILLUSTRATION: UNSPLASH

Singapore couples do seem to have less sex compared with other countries (Married women here have less sex than desired: Study, Jan 5).

Perhaps men, just like the women interviewed, would rather have more sex than they actually do.

Creating the mood for love starts with increasing the level of consideration and affection between partners in a marriage.

Years into a marriage when the first flush of sexual attraction has worn off, habituation sets in, with libido abating.

More stressful financial commitments, long work hours and the procreation process already settled, sex becomes more a chore than romantic enhancement of the spousal relationship.

Yes, couples can remain happy in a stable relationship, replacing sex with mere companionship, but coupling accentuates closeness.

Where there is no more sexual intimacy, husbands and wives will develop vastly disparate levels of sexual need.

Refusing sex may simply provide an excuse for the other to seek gratification outside of marriage. Discussion of each party's needs and preferences will lead to better empathy and fulfilment.

In the end, where there is mutual respect, it doesn't matter how couples whet their sexual appetites as long as they seek satisfaction within the home.

Yik Keng Yeong (Dr)

A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Straits Times on January 08, 2020, with the headline 'Sexual intimacy necessary in marriage'. Print Edition | Subscribe