1. Tell her that Married With Children, the old American TV series, was your least favourite sitcom of the 1990s.

2. Blame the HDB. Your brand new HDB flat is so small there's only space for a single bed after your incredible $50,000 home entertainment system.

3. Tell her it's much cooler to be a cat lady with 40 kittens than a fat lady with four kids.

4. Remind her how dangerous small boys can be. Showing her a photo of Kim Jong Un and the uncle he executed.

5. Say you dislike little people so much you don't even want to see The Hobbit.

6 Complain that raising a kid is so expensive these days it's cheaper to raise the Titanic.

7. Teach her that the world is way too overpopulated already and you'd be an environmental terrorist if you added even more people.

8. Tell her that you seriously don't have space for anything juvenile since your spare room is totally occupied by your Iron Man, Thor, Captain America and the Incredible Hulk action figures.