Abused at 14, she now finds it hard to trust men

"Jasmine" was 14 when she was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend's godfather.
"Jasmine" was 14 when she was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend's godfather. PHOTO: ST FILE

"Jasmine" was 14 when she was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend's godfather. She had scoliosis, and the man claimed he could heal her.

He asked her to go to his flat in Bukit Merah, then told her to take a shower before the "healing session". He gave her two pills which she took. Then he took off her clothes and underwear.

Now 27, she still remembers how she fell into a deep slumber. But not before he started touching her inappropriately, claiming that what he was doing was "for her own good".

When she woke up four hours later, she felt sore in her lower body, but thought it was all part of the "healing". "I didn't know then what sex was, or what rape was," she told The Sunday Times.

It was only at the age of 17 that she decided to see a counsellor at her polytechnic.

She also told her mother, who did not take her seriously. She did not seek professional help beyond her counsellor, and believes the abuse has affected her life.

She finds it hard to trust the opposite sex, and prefers relationships with married men.

"I'm a bad woman and I know people judge me but I don't really care. I don't want to put myself in a position of vulnerability. It makes me feel empowered when I use men for sex. They deserve it."

She is estranged from her family, and admits that what hurts the most is not getting support from those who are supposed to be closest to her. "I know what my lifestyle now is not healthy. But I guess I have not moved on from the abuse."

Lim Yi Han

A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Sunday Times on August 23, 2015, with the headline 'Abused at 14, she now finds it hard to trust men'. Print Edition | Subscribe