The daughter of an elderly resident, who visits only once a year, kicked up a row when she accused staff of abuse on discovering a bruise on the resident's arm. She and her husband demanded the telephone number of the chairman and threatened to report the matter to the media.

The nursing matron had to cut short her New Year celebrations to rush to the nursing home to pacify the complainants, as well as the staff member who was very upset.

But there was no physical abuse. There was proper documentation that the bruising was due to ageing skin and an oral anti-coagulant, and medical attention given.

This year, the staff were a little jittery before Chinese New Year in anticipation of such complaints.

Much of the physically hard work required to care for the disabled elderly depends on foreign health-care workers.

For 365 days a year, these people start work in the wee hours to bathe residents, change their diapers, clear their waste, transfer them to wheelchairs, push them to the dining area, feed them and so on.

They do not ask for gratitude but it would be nice if families of residents said, 'Thank you'. They told me they would be happy if visitors did not make unreasonable complaints or vent their anger on them.

My appeal to families of residents of any nursing home is to visit often. Get to know the staff who care for your family member.

If possible, spend a day to observe, or better still, participate in the actual care of the resident. Then perhaps families will be able to appreciate and show gratitude.

Dr Tan Chek Wee