THE NIGHT BEFORE

Three childhood buddies are out on one last wild night before Christmas in New York City after spending the last 14 Christmas Eves together. Joseph Gordon-Levitt acts party-pally-nutty like Bradley Cooper. Seth Rogen is the chunky, comical Jewish dude who keeps saying "We didn't kill Jesus". Anthony Mackie is added to draw in extra bucks since he's recognisable now as The Falcon from The Avengers (2012).

Maybe I'm being too killjoy-cynical here, but I think anybody with a laptop and a can of booze can script this. Just once, for the ultimate revenge, I want to see Santa Claus crash on these morons with a hit squad of killer reindeer. Now that'd be hysterical. Someone give me Quentin Tarantino's number.

DIRTY GRANDPA

Didn't those jackasses from the raunchy Jackass series make a movie about a dirty, horny grandpa? I think this is the GPG - Grand Parental Guidance - version, with Robert De Niro enjoying the thrill of hopping into bed with a young hot chick.

Along with Zac Efron, who plays his grandson, the veteran hits the road to a wild and happening college spring-break party at a Florida beach soon after his wife's funeral. This is American Pie reimagined as American Die - because you keep wondering when De Niro's elderly heart is going to give out before his disorderly shorts.

Tay Yek Keak