Oh boy, you wouldn't want to go to Toys R Us after seeing this boy.
An unsuspecting American nanny (The Walking Dead's Lauren Cohan) is hired to look after an eight-year-old "boy" named Brahms in a remote Big Old Empty Scary House in England.
"Be good to him and he'll be good to you," she's told.
Okay, no problem. Except that Brahms is a doll with the kind of creepy, eternally unmoving porcelain face which would freak you out even if you were armed with a rocket launcher.
Think the kid from The Sixth Sense but sitting a lot more still.
I tell you, this thing makes Annabelle, that other haunted doll, look cuter than Barbie.
I'm getting major therapy for watching this spooky trailer because the weird, very serious English couple here treat him superbizarrely as though he's their own son and I'm scared even by my Hello Kitty pillow.
"Don't forget to feed him" - the nanny is instructed before the lifeless doll, you know, vanishes from the kitchen table.
Feed a doll? Are they crazy?
That's it. I'm burning all my inflatable toys tonight.
I was wondering when anyone would race to make the Jesse Owens story.
As the African-American sprinter who won four gold medals at the 1936 Berlin Olympics, he basically humiliated Grumpy Nasty Hitler. Which in this clip is translated into Owens (Selma's Stephan James) being coached to defy the Nazi Racial Supremacy Grand Plan by the usually-funny Jason Sudeikis (Horrible Bosses), who curtails his comic instincts as the Kevin Costner-style wise old sports hand astounded by his stopwatch.
This is like Chariots Of Fire meets Selma, with the Fastest Man On Earth torn between his African- American elders who want him to boycott the Olympics and those who urge him to go to Berlin.
All this plus the nice quick kid encountering racism in the locker room, which permeates sports movies as a test of strength.
It all looks kind of modern here, the sort where you expect perennial coach Gene Hackman to pop up on the sidelines with a crusty homily or two about the heart, intestinal fortitude, etc.
Still, this trailer looks like it has enough real-life drama - hey, it's the Nazis - to last a marathon, let alone a sprint.
"Ain't no black and white, there's only fast and slow," says Owens.
Yep, this is a good fast clip here.
Tay Yek Keak