Since becoming a parent, I no longer blame kids for bad behaviour. I blame the parents. I don't want to spank the kids; I want to punch the parents.

ACTOR JAMES MCAVOY

We were looking at each other, getting nearer and nearer, and, at almost exactly the same moment, we both put out our hands. What was amazing to me was, Morrissey knew who I was.

HARRY POTTER AUTHOR J.K. ROWLING on meeting her music hero

Amy Schumer is pretty much my daughter. It's a dynasty - before Joan Rivers, there was Phyllis Diller. Joan bred me and Sarah Silverman, we went on to influence Amy, so you can see a direct line.

COMIC MARGARET CHO on her taboo-breaking, "over-sharing" comedy