NEW YORK • Go ahead, talk a little trash.
Gossip may not be good for you per se, but it is deeply connected to human nature. And it might just help in navigating a post-pandemic world - at least in a social sense.
Historian Yuval Noah Harari wrote in Sapiens: A Brief History Of Humankind that gossip helped early Homo sapiens form larger and more stable bands.
He borrowed the idea from anthropologist Robin Dunbar, who theorised in his 1998 book, Grooming, Gossip And The Evolution Of Language, that language - and, by extension, gossip - replaced grooming, a social-bonding practice still seen among humans' primate cousins.
In other words, humans needed something that would help them keep up-to-date with friends and family as they spread out across distances, and networks of Homo sapiens were becoming too large for everyone to effectively groom everyone else.
Or, to put it another way, humans evolved to gossip.
Of course, no one knows exactly why or how the human species developed an ability to think, communicate and transmit social information.
But the language of social bonding is thought to play a pivotal part in ensuring their survival and later flourishing.
This is not to say there are not extreme downsides to gossip, and that there are not horribly cruel ways to do it.
At worst, it can facilitate xenophobia or bigotry on macro levels and reinforce stereotypes about perceived "others". Even in more casual social settings, gossip can ruin reputations.
But there are also acceptable ways to gossip. One of those is gossiping about celebrities or powerful people you do not know.
Celebrity-gossip culture began to flourish in the mid-20th century, eventually mutating into its present form as a social media monolith because it is entertaining.
Famed celebrity-gossip columnist Perez Hilton acknowledged the innate and, in some ways, aspirational human urge to gossip about celebs.
"Even before social media existed, even before we graduated high school, people used to gossip about the captain of the football team, the head cheerleader," he said in an interview.
"We always are drawn to perceived roles of power. It's just human nature. It's curiosity."
As humanity re-enters the realm of in-person socialising, people could all benefit from considering this: How might you gossip better? How do you harness this evolutionary tool to your benefit - to connect with greater kindness and empathy after a year that brought with it so much suffering?
When it comes to sharing a bit of gossip, it can help to run through the five Gatekeepers of Speech, which are interpreted from Buddhist teachings: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it beneficial? Is it necessary? Is it the right time?
Gossip need not fulfil all these criteria to be worth sharing, but it is probably less nasty if it fulfils some of them.
Note that just because information may be negative, it does not mean the gossip is.
An example of this is the whisper networks that emerged from the #MeToo movement.
If the gossip is negative and does not serve any actionable purpose, keep it to yourself.
"People love new couples. People love babies. It's not all negative," Hilton said.
"Of course, train wrecks - people being very messy or sloppy publicly - do get a lot of attention. I won't deny that."
Gossiping is bad when it sows uncertainty or confusion. And any piece of gossip loses its merit as civilisation-boosting or as a social lubricant when it is a bald-faced lie, or even something heard through the grapevine that cannot be substantiated.
When gossiping, remember to exercise compassion not just for others, but also for yourself.
Everyone gossips - and everyone makes mistakes in gossiping - and you will too.
Do not beat yourself up for falling prey to evolutionary instincts. The best you can do, on your best day, is be kind, keep it positive and stick to the facts.
NYTIMES
