Keep kids out of marital spats

Some parents tend to involve children in their disputes ("Helping kids go through parents' divorce" by Mrs Joanna Koh-Hoe of Focus on the Family Singapore; Oct 8).

They would tell their children bad things about each other. This not only confuses their children but makes their lives miserable as they love both parents.

Parents may have their reasons for divorce but the children are innocent in the dispute.

Parents must reassure the children that although both parents quarrel or fight among themselves, they both still love them.

Parents should pacify their children by telling them that "it is better for mummy and daddy to stay apart so that you don't have to see both of us quarrel or fight all the time".

They should use the words "stay apart" instead of "divorce" or "separate", as children may be too young to understand the meaning of the more technical words.

Sng Ah Beng