Earlier this week, I read of Britain's "top divorce lawyer" who tells her staff on maternity leave to "come back as soon as you can, but come back at whatever pace you like: for half a day a week, for a day a week".

If I had a baby now, I would not go full-time mothering for as long as I did. But which business or organisation would let a mother return on one day a week, let alone half a day?

Also, I would probably look for a network of at least two other mothers who would take turns to look after all our kids to allow us all to continue to work at least one day a week.

Our children would take turns to go to a different networked household every day of the week to interact with other adults and children.

There would be routine and discipline, as well as a lot of fun and creativity, but no foreign maid.

When discussing gender equality, do we have the gumption to explore how equality of opportunities could come in different permutations?

In anthropology, we see how adolescent boys are physically separated from their mothers to be trained as "men".

My husband started working less when our son reached adolescence, exactly when our son, then already taller than me, decided that it was not cool to be seen with his mum.

His dad stepped in to shoulder the parenting and discipline.

My husband is now retired and he supports me when I work, just as I used to support him.

Especially with us living longer, most of us can no longer think about one single career for life. It is wise for those who work to consider retiring early to prepare for a second career, and/or to support a stay-home spouse back into work.

As for the spouse (most usually the wife) who stays at home, gender equality could mean having a career at a later stage of his or her life. In other words, our careers do not need to run synchronously.

All we need now are enlightened human resource professionals who do not write off stay-home mothers or older workers who can be just as effective and reliable as younger workers.

Looking for a job in one's 50s or 60s is not for the faint-hearted.

And we also need HDB flats which can be financed by one wage.

Lee Siew Peng