Madam Elni (in black) sleeps with her four children on mattresses in the living room of their four-room flat, often with the TV on. Bedtime is also when they catch up with each other and talk about their day. Madam Elni usually leaves the main door open to let in the cool night air, waking up later to shut it. At 4am, she is up again to start another busy day. -- ST PHOTO: LIM WUI LIANG

Most of us wouldn't know where to start if confronted by the problems the 39-year-old divorcee faces every day.

There are the big picture things like her children's education and general well-being, and there is also the day-to-day stuff like finding them a bed and a square meal.

Madam Elni lives with her four children but there is only one bed in the four-room HDB flat in Potong Pasir.

She was retrenched from her job as a cargo assistant last October and is too poor to afford a bed for each child.

But no matter; each night, she and the kids - aged seven to 17 - drag two foam mattresses into the living room, lie next to each other, watch TV and talk about their day.

'I can't afford to wallow in self-pity,' she says in Malay. 'I don't have the time to feel sorry for myself.'

Surprisingly for a single mum with no job and four mouths to feed, Madam Elni does not look like a woman under siege.

Instead she is cheery and bubbly, radiating an infectious love of life.

Indeed it was her resilience and optimism that prompted a social worker from the Association of Malay Professionals (AMP) to suggest this aid recipient as a candidate for this series instead of one of their volunteers.

AMP executive officer Nureliza Hamzah, 30, has been helping Madam Elni for the past year.

'I have worked with many people who plunge into depression because they have been affected by the recession. Many single mothers would have just given up but she is so determined and cheerful,' she says.

'She doesn't give up. She goes to great lengths to keep her family together.'

Madam Elni's days are full and start at 4am when she steams and bakes an assortment of Malay desserts that she sells to a factory canteen in Ang Mo Kio.

The $40 a day she earns comes in extremely handy since her ex-husband, a driver, is neither prompt nor regular with his $300 monthly maintenance payment.

Once the cooking is done, she takes her youngest son, seven-year-old Mohd Danis Danial, to school. She also has to prepare lunch for the children when they come home from school, and dinner too as the family cannot afford to eat out, do the housework and look for a job.

Madam Elni takes it all in her stride, perhaps because she has become all too used to travelling on a fairly rough road.

She was married at 21 but divorced in 2005 when her husband had an affair.

'He was not helping much even when we were married. There were times when he didn't work. I had to work so that the children could stay in school,' she says.

Her children's education tops her priority list.

'No matter what happens, I want them to go to school and be educated. Only then can they improve themselves and lead better lives,' she says.

Madam Elni's practical, no-nonsense approach to life - and her fierce determination - are pretty evident on this front.

She diligently applies for aid from organisations such as AMP and the Potong Pasir Family Service Centre.

'There is no shame in asking for help. My children's education is at stake. I really need it, and I will find ways of repaying them when I'm able to. I don't want them to end up like me,' says Madam Elni, who only had primary school education and started working in a factory at 14.

Eldest son Mohd Haiqal is a first-year mechatronics student at the Institute of Technical Education. Daughters Nur Emyliya, 14, Nur Illiyawati, 11, and son Mohd Danis Danial are all enrolled in free tuition schemes offered by Mendaki and Mercu, a childcare centre operated by AMP.

They are also on The Straits Times School Pocket Money Fund scheme, which provides a little cash to needy children.

Because finances are tight, the children have to do without luxuries so movie outings are rare and birthdays are often celebrated without a cake.

But Madam Elni tries to make it up by taking them on outings to places such as Pasir Ris Park.

'I just have to make them understand. I tell them, at least we don't have to go hungry, like the children in Africa. Thank God, they are obedient and understand,' she says.

There have been some dark days, despite her ability to navigate rough economic waters.

There was a day last year when Madam Elni had only 10 cents left in her wallet.

'We went without food for a day; the children just ate biscuits. And they walked to school. I felt really bad but the children all understood,' she says, adding that a friend came to the rescue by sending her groceries and lending her $20.

There have also been times when the family's electricity supply was cut because she could not afford to pay her bills.

'I try not to bother my mother or siblings. They have problems of their own,' says Madam Elni, who is the tenth of 12 children. Her mother is a cleaner, as was her late father.

Ms Nureliza placed her on AMP's Adopt A Family & Youth Scheme (AFYS), which helps disadvantaged families and tries to get them to become self-reliant.

She has also applied for emergency funds a few times to help the family through difficult times but she has nothing but admiration for Madam Elni, a person she brands as a genuine 'recession heroine'.

'I've never seen her depressed or down. I know she's been diligently going to scores of job interviews. She's not discouraged. She just channels her energy into making and selling Malay delicacies even if she has to travel from Potong Pasir to Ang Mo Kio to sell them,' she adds.

'I'm not sure what I would do myself if I were in her shoes. I'll be lost. I really draw inspiration from her strength. And people like her make what I do very fulfilling and satisfying.'

Madam Elni is the first to admit the going sometimes gets very tough.

'When I need a good cry, I just lock myself in the room. But I never do it in front of the children. I don't want them to think that their mother cannot cope. I can cope,' she says.

'I'm also lucky because I have an optimistic character. My mother used to tell me, 'Don't be unhappy, because if you are unhappy, you cannot do anything.' I find that to be very true.

'If there is a will, there is a way.'

She tells her children it is no crime to be poor as long as they lead their lives right.

Eldest son Mohd Haiqal knows the stress his mother is under.

'She really tries her best. I try to help her out. During the school holidays last year, I worked in McDonald's to help her out. I earned $300 and gave her $150,' he says.

Youngest boy Mohd Danis thinks his mother is the best and says so in Malay: 'Mak saya bagus.'

When asked why he thinks so, he switches into his adorably fractured English: 'Because she really take care us.'

kimhoh@sph.com.sg