I share the sentiments expressed by the writers and can also empathise with them personally as I, too, have a mother who is mentally ill. My mother suffered from schizophrenia for the past 30 over years.

Mother is now 76 years old and we believe she is a brave woman having to battle inner demons as a result of her sickness. As mental illness was a taboo subject then and I believe still is even in a First World society like ours, the family went through 'hell' as she confronts invisible demons and personalities regularly that appear too real for her to ignore.

We have neighbours who avoided us as she shouts and screams at home all alone when we were working. We also have the occasional police appearances on our doorstep as Mother confronted yet another invisible personality outside at the market place drawing lots of attention. Shame and anger drained us out and we somehow despised her for the adverse attention that she has drawn to the family.

We regretted not bringing her to seek medical advice sooner and let the sickness drag on for many years. Father was also at his wits' end as Mother was a stubborn woman who avoids the doctor at all costs. Maybe it was the three-day stay at the then Woodbridge Hospital that planted a fear of the man in white coat that caused her distrust in medical personnel.

The situation culminated on a rainy day about 10 years ago. I remembered my daughter cried when a neighbour's daughter was asked by her parents to return home while playing halfway for fear that my mother would erupt again.

It was a tough spectacle to witness and my hatred of Mother grew. There was also the lingering thoughts of putting her away in a mental institution for good fuelled by the grand ambition of protecting my own nest (I just had a daughter then). Mother was staying with us then.

The breakthrough came when, upon visiting my family doctor for a routine flu consultation, I asked him about medical care for the mentally sick. He immediately asked me to take Mother to see a psychiatrist.

A daily dosage of three magic pills stabilised her sickness a lot though we had to cough out $150 every two months for consultation fees and medication - a small price to pay for peace and harmony within the family.

We also want to thank the psychiatrist for charging us less when I was unemployed. For that, I was grateful that Mother could still continue her medication on a regular basis.

It was an amazingly simple treatment and, up till today, I kicked myself for not taking her to see the doctor earlier.

I agree with Assoc Prof Lee: 'While we would like the families to take on the caregiving responsibility, as a neurologist, I have seen the lives of all the family members ruined by one ill relative, through no fault of their own.' I cannot agree with her statement more.

My advice to those with mentally sick loved ones is to seek medical attention quickly. Do not let the shame and stigma of the sickness wear you down but approach your family doctor to ask for a referral to see the psychiatrist.

If you do not have the support of any family members, do it on your own. The relief is not only for your loved one but also for yourself for if he is treated properly you will also have peace of mind at home.

Most polyclinics have such facilities though if you have the resources, go to a private psychatrist so that you can have more personal attention.

A mentally ill person will not seek medical attention on her own. The onus is on us to take the responsibility to show them the way to wellness.

I believe more can be done for the mentally sick. As Singapore ages, more people will succumb to the sicknesses that attack the mind, for example, Alzheimer's disease.

Support groups for caregivers can be held to provide them an avenue of care and support. Roadshows can be held in public places to educate the public about mental illnesses and, if possible, demystify them. If need be, medical subsidy should be granted to those who need them.

Mother is now almost normal though there is still the rare shouting and talking to herself. We let her as the sickness will always be there though we could safely say that it is almost 80 per cent under control.

She currently is leading a normal life and enjoying her grandchildren as any other grandmother would. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel brightly now.

Gilbert Goh Keow Wah