Surprised at a business lunch
Oct 22, 2009 Thursday, 06:16 PM
Ignatius Low is surprised at how a business lunch turned out.
BUSINESS lunches can be quite strange affairs, especially if they are one-on-one and with someone you have never met before.
On the one hand, you are meant to have a serious discussion about something that you want to achieve. On the other hand, it's not quite your regular meeting.
Instead of meeting for 45 minutes in the office, you extend the conversation for up to two hours of food and drink. The result is a setting that hovers uncomfortably between formal and informal, with one constantly wondering whether to be purposeful or playful.
Some people, of course, are exceedingly good at this genre of business interaction. Like skilful film directors, they can pack a lot into two hours and make them pass very quickly. There's even a book about it. I looked it up on the Internet.
In The Art Of The Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 And 2 pm, always pick a restaurant where the wait staff will leave you alone. Keep conversation light, she adds, unless you are looking to sign a deal. You should ask your lunch partner at least a little bit about himself or herself, and fill up all those uncomfortable silences by talking about industry trends.
I often wish I had the benefit of these tips, especially earlier in my career when I was fresh out of school and feeling out of character in my grown-up business clothes. And even though I slowly got a sense of the dos and don'ts over the years, I still feel more relaxed at a business lunch in the safety of a large group.
So on the rare occasion that a business lunch is one-on-one, I can't help but get slightly nervous. I try to wear a nice shirt and make sure that my goatee is neatly trimmed.
It feels like a date. And if I'm meeting someone new, it feels like a first date.
She had fixed the lunch for the two of us at 1pm - a sure sign that she was unsure how it would go. If there was no chemistry between us, we could finish lunch in as little as an hour and call it a respectably efficient, businesslike affair.
We were meeting for the first time despite both of us being in the media industry for many years. She was the head of the local arm of an international public relations firm. I had always been a business journalist, but somehow our paths had never crossed.
We wondered aloud about this, as we sat down and looked through the menu. There was a three-course set lunch and I wondered if she would choose this or opt for the express option of just a main course.
Since she was buying lunch, I let her take the lead. But she wisely deferred the decision to me, perhaps not wanting to be the first to show her hand. I wasn't, in fact, very hungry, so we went for the express.We got down to business pretty quickly, seeing that there was actually plenty to discuss.
With business out of the way, one often wonders how to proceed.
Sure, there are set pieces that experts on small talk recommend. Ask their opinion about something in the news or what they like doing in their free time.
But when she asked me about religion, midway through a discussion on Asian naming protocols, you would have thought that the conversation would end quickly and testily.
But somewhere in between trading memories, we somehow connected. We ended up revealing quite intimate details about our lives. And when I admitted to her why my lifestyle choices made me choose what I have, she ended up admitting to me - as a good friend would - why she would secretly agree.
We ended up ordering a second round of coffee and I was almost late for a 3pm meeting. And it was with a surprising reluctance that I finally stood up to say goodbye.
Perhaps our paths won't cross again for many years. Our worlds are so very different and we had arranged to meet for a very specific purpose. But it felt great to know that the opportunity for such human connections still exist in a society as fast-paced as ours.
And how something as mundane as a business lunch can still surprise very much on the upside.
