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BEFRIEND, THEN BETRAY: Common 'grooming' methods include showering victims with gifts and affection that involves physical contact. -- TNP FILE PHOTO
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FOUR-YEAR-OLD Julie was on her way to a playground when she ran into a 15-year-old boy she had seen often in the area.
The teenager, who sometimes gave her sweets, walked up to Julie (not her real name) and said: 'Ko Ko has a present for you. Why don't you follow me?' Ko Ko means older brother in Hokkien.
Excited, the four-year-old obeyed, ending up in a deserted Housing Board block staircase nearby.
'Close your eyes now for the surprise,' the boy instructed.
But instead of giving her sweets or toys, the teenager molested the girl.
Similar scenes of betrayal after befriending play out time and time again in cases of sexual abuse, say researchers.
A new study by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) that profiled those who sexually abuse teenagers and children shows that in one in three cases, the crime is coldly calculated.
Before they pounce, offenders often 'groom' their prey for abuse by befriending them and gaining their trust.
The study, completed recently by psychologist Jennifer Teoh, is the result of interviews with 84 young offenders, most of whom were on probation after being charged in court. The boy who attacked the little girl in the playground was among those interviewed.
The offenders are sent for counselling and assessment at MCYS' psychological services unit where Ms Teoh is deputy head.
While the study looked at perpetrators aged between 12 and 21, 'grooming' is also a common tactic among older paedophiles.
A 54-year-old man was jailed for 22 years on Wednesday after befriending and sodomising two little boys.
A smaller survey of 20 adults who molested children related to them showed that around six in 10 'groomed' the child before abusing him or her.
Common grooming methods among predators include showering victims with gifts and affection that involves frequent physical contact, such as making them sit on their laps, giving them piggyback rides or even indulging in games such as wrestling.
Some also spent hours chatting with victims online before making any physical contact.
While Singapore is likely to soon have a law that criminalises online stalking, Ms Teoh said parents also needed to be made more aware of 'physical grooming'.
'Sometimes, predators are canny enough to win even the trust of parents, especially during trying times,' said Ms Teoh.
A woman who was going through a divorce, for instance, was initially grateful for the time and affection a 24-year-old photographer showered on her 14-year-old daughter, said Ms Teoh.
'He helped her with her studies, so that when, after months of knowing him, he invited the girl home, she did not suspect anything was amiss.'
He then went on to kiss her. She was stunned for a while, but eventually complained to her mum.
This relationship of trust often allows perpetrators to abuse victims for longer periods of time.
'The first few times abuse happens, victims often wonder whether they are misreading the signals,' she added.
With very young children, the 'keep this a secret' ruse works quite well.
'Children love secrets, and thus may not complain about being abused for a long period of time,' she said.
Indeed, in more than two in three cases Ms Teoh studied, the offenders had actually abused their victims repeatedly or preyed on multiple victims.
Another one in three acknowledged committing similar acts at least once before without being caught.
Consultant child psychiatrist Parvathy Pathy from the Institute of Mental Health acknowledged that reported cases may be the 'tip of the iceberg'.
'But there is a greater awareness and willingness especially among teachers to promptly report such cases,' said the doctor who has been treating child sex abuse victims for the past 15 years.
Updated numbers from the police are not yet available, but a Singapore Children's Society paper in 2003 showed that an average of around 240 sexual offences against children were recorded every year by the Ministry of Home Affairs between 1999 and 2002.
Fathers, stepfathers and relatives were perpetrators in about 15 per cent of the cases.
In most of the other cases too, the culprit was known to the victim - being a friend, acquaintance, boyfriend or classmate.
Director of family services at the Children's Society Koh Wah Koon said parents should warn their children about more than just strangers.
'What they often overlook is that the danger can come from someone their kids know and trust.'
radhab@sph.com.sg
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