For those, I hit the delete button instantly.

Others dare to forward the confidential e-mail that you sent them to complete strangers.

I would never do that, unless there was a reasonable basis for doing so.

Recently, I actually did that - forwarding an e-mail-warning about a movie deemed unsuitable for kids to a group of close friends.

But I did so only after going on to the Internet to read up on the producer, the movie, and what netizens were saying.

I then forwarded the e-mail with a two-sentence comment saying that I had done some quick checks and 'there appears to be some reason for concern'.

The tentativeness of my note was to tell the recipients that I wasn't sure and they had to decide for themselves. I was just sounding an alert.

The following day I received a reply from one of them. She had forwarded my e-mail, comment and all, to a stranger (a stranger to me, at least). In her e-mail was this long 600-word (about two-thirds the length of this column) response from the stranger.

It was clear he held a view strongly opposed to mine. That is fine.

I have met someone who honestly feels that pornography is educational and that kids can learn from it and others who feel terrorist activities are justified. You get all sorts.

His response to my comment was strongly worded with some criticism directed at me as well.

I contemplated a response but did not want to get into an exchange with a person I did not know. Moreover, I assumed he knew next to nothing about me.

If anything, my priority would be to straighten out the friend who thinks porn is educational.

I would imagine these kinds of e-mail squabbles are not rare. Another friend recently found himself in a bind which stemmed from the forwarding of his e-mail to someone who should not have received it.

He criticised a paper put up by one of the officers, saying the work was shoddy, lacked facts, not up to scratch and needed to be reworked.

He ended his note to his supervisor stating that his e-mail was not to be forwarded to the officer concerned.

But his supervisor, for some bizarre reason, did exactly that. Perhaps it was easier to explain to the person what the criticism of the paper was or that the criticism was coming from the big boss and not him.

Needless to say, there was a great deal of unhappiness.

I asked around to find out if others were in the habit of forwarding e-mail, and was surprised to find that quite a number think nothing of it.

Some said it would depend on the content of the e-mail.

Some said they would, if it was one of those e-mail with a string of jokes. Even then, I wasn't too sure.

If my boss were to send me an e-mail with a string of jokes at 11am (because he and I were good friends), and I forwarded these to other staff, it would be unfair to him.

I am sure the thought that would flash through the minds of those who don't know him would be: 'So this is what the boss does locked up in his room.'

In the case of my movie warning, had my friend removed my name, details and comments before sending it to the stranger, I would have had fewer problems with her actions.

The stranger would also have confined his argument to the content of the e-mail. I don't even know if it was fair of my friend to forward his response to me. He might not have made some of those remarks if he thought I would be reading them.

If someone sends you an e-mail meant for you, it may cause problems if it's forwarded to a person it is not intended for.

I have a friend I would describe as a militant feminist and with whom I have exchanges about gender and gender roles. I can send her my views and she hops wildly on her seat and rebuts my points.

But she knows me well and she respects my views as much as I respect hers.

But if she were to forward it to another militant feminist who doesn't know me, I am sure it could lead to much misunderstanding.

If you feel you must forward an e-mail, just forward the 'guts' of it. Remove the personal comments of the sender that were added to the e-mail and meant just for you. If you feel you need to forward the e-mail with these personal comments as well, then you should seek the permission of the sender.

Technology is moving so fast that we make rules and guidelines about Net etiquette and behaviour as we go along. What is acceptable and what is not, is not as clear as in the past.

As a sender, the lesson is: Be mindful of what you put down in an e-mail.

The next time you want to forward an e-mail, hit the mental pause button first before you hit the send key.

matt@sph.com.sg