TOUGH LIFE: Ms Li, who has to be fed, has used the Internet to make her appeal to the Chinese authorities.

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Instead, the 29-year-old with muscular dystrophy has been catapulted into the centre of an ethical debate.

Fearing that her disease will eventually leave her in a helpless state, she used her blog in March this year to ask the National People's Congress to legalise her right to die.

'I don't want to live with my brothers and sisters-in-law after my parents' death, let alone go to an orphanage or welfare institute,' wrote Ms Li, a rosy-cheeked woman with plump lips who can't keep from breaking into a smile even when discussing her most morbid wishes.

'I'd be away from heaven and life would be worse than death for me,' she wrote, addressing the Congress during its annual two-week meeting in Beijing. 'So I would like to apply for euthanasia when I'm still able to sit and talk.'

The central government has been guarded in this matter, hinting in the state media that China isn't ready to join the few nations that have legalised euthanasia.

But in a country where death shadows the underclass in so many ways - from coal-mine explosions and sickening pollution to earthquakes and floods - many people appear to view euthanasia as an act of mercy.

'China's atheism education, people's practical mind-set and poverty all add up to a willingness to accept euthanasia,' said Mr Zhang Zanning, a professor of medical law at Dongnan University in Nanjing. 'I think the supporting rate for euthanasia is very high. In terms of public opinion, now is a good time for legislation.'

Ms Li, the daughter of a fertiliser factory worker in this industrial corner of north-west China, had no idea what the rest of the country thought about euthanasia four years ago when her parents borrowed about US$500 (S$765) - the equivalent of three months' wages - to buy her a computer.

She taught herself to type by holding a chopstick in her mouth. In early March, she copied her plea to the National People's Congress and pasted it to a message board belonging to a prominent national television reporter.

Within four days, her story had fanned out nationwide. Four weeks later, 90,000 hits had been recorded on Ms Li's blog, with many people leaving words of encouragement and support for her right to take her own life.

Ms Li's appeal has made her a media star. A crew from the state-run network CCTV filmed a foreign journalist interviewing her in her bedroom recently. The cramped space was decorated with a heart-shaped mirror. Along the window was a queen bed she shares with her mother Song Fengying.

The 60-year-old matriarch turns her daughter's body at least 10 times a night to ease the discomfort of staying in one position.

'If I can't sleep, my mother can't either,' said Ms Li, sitting on a wheelchair.

'I explain to people, imagine lying down or sitting stiff for two hours without any movement no matter how uncomfortable it feels. It becomes so painful. Like having a mosquito on your finger and you can't chase it away.' Moments later, she shouted: 'Ma! Move my legs.'

Madam Song said it was up to her daughter to decide what she wanted for her future. But it isn't easy for a mother to accept such a quest by her daughter. She said: 'When I take her outside, neighbours and friends say, 'Your daughter's still alive? What will your daughter do after you die?' I just say, 'We'll see'. I don't think so far ahead.'

When Ms Li was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy at the age of six, doctors said she wouldn't live past 18. A year later, she needed wooden boards pressed against her legs to hold them stiff in order to move. By 10, she was in a wheelchair.

She was in school for just half a year before being pulled out because her parents hoped to travel to find treatment.

She was confined to home. Her eldest brother used his old textbooks to teach her maths and Chinese. At that time, she still had control of her hands and loved embroidering, she said. But by 15, her hands began to falter.

It was around that time that she first learnt of euthanasia. She saw a TV news programme about a woman in Europe who had her doctor lethally inject her.

'To die without pain. I thought, that doesn't sound bad,' Ms Li said. She didn't pursue the idea until she was 26, when she decided to starve herself to death. She gave up after her mother pleaded with her to eat.

Last August, she started a blog titled No Way To Escape. She wrote about her daily life, solitude and disease.

Ms Li said she does not feel famous. It stings when people accuse her on her blog of seeking fame and fortune. Last week, a foundation offered to pay for medical treatment in Beijing. She accepted, but does not think it will make much difference.

A pink box on her window-sill contains a DVD player from a Hong Kong TV reporter who wanted her to be able to watch the Spanish film The Sea Inside, about a paralysed man seeking suicide.

No request to legalise euthanasia was ever officially submitted to the National People's Congress, which is the norm for many of the ideas thrust into the limelight during the yearly session. But Ms Li is still hopeful.

LAT-WP

'I am an atheist. I don't believe in a soul or ghosts. After I die, I will become fertiliser. I want to donate all my usable organs'
Ms Li

'The fragrance of a plum flower is conceived in the bitter cold'

Ms Li's online instant-messaging sign-on. Its message: To suffer is to grow

MUM SAYS...

'It makes me too sad to think about the future. I know it saddens my daughter to think about it too. She has to suffer this pain. As parents, we couldn't do our job. We couldn't cure her'

OTHERS SAY...

'I understand and support you. It has nothing to do with courage, but has to do with dignity! I hope everyone can have a dignified life and death!' A netizen named Caihong