Mr Lee called on both men and women to be 'realistic' about marriage and try to juggle it together with their careers. -- WONG KWAI CHOW/THE STRAITS TIMES
TO raise Singapore's birth rate, mindsets about marriage will have to change and matchmaking could be an option, said Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong in his National Day Rally speech on Sunday night.
Speaking in Mandarin, Mr Lee said young people would need to see marriage as an important part of life.
The career-minded women
Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong spoke of the attitudes of many modern women who are in no hurry to get married, choosing instead to focus on building their career first.
He cited the trend in major Chinese cities, and recounted an interview session conducted by a Canadian academic with three young women graduates from Beijing.
Here are exerpts of the interview:
The Canadian asked the three Beijing young women: If you found a good job in Southern China, but your boyfriend is in Beijing, what would you do?
They told him: We will choose the job.
He further asked: What if he is an intimate boyfriend? Would you leave him for the job?
They said: We will still choose the job.
He then asked: What if he is your fiance?
Their answer was the same: We will choose the job.
Men's mindsets not changing fast enough
Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong related the conversation a Singaporean man looking for a partner with a dating agency to drive home the point why singles here face difficulties in finding the right mate.
The dating agency noticed that he had not found anyone interesting after several dates, and asked him about his expections. The conversation goes like this:
Man: I want someone who is also doing well in her career.
Dating agency: Ok, should not be a problem; what else?
Man: I want her to be independent.
Dating agency: Also ok, most career women are also independent. Any other requirements?
Man: She must also be gentle and submissive!
'What he didn't realise was where are we going to find a woman like this?' said PM Lee, to laughter from the 1,700 MPs, civil servants and community leaders at the University Cultural Centre in Kent Ridge.
'Luckily, such conservative men are less common nowadays.'
He noted that more men today do their share of housework. They also help to look after children - feeding them and changing nappies.
But some men and women have contrary views, not just here but in other Asian societies.
To chuckles from his audience, Mr Lee related two examples: of how some men had overly-high expectations when looking for a partner, and how some women placed career before marriage.
He called on both men and women to be 'realistic' about marriage and try to juggle it together with their careers.
'If they wait until they have achieved success in their career, they may miss out on the opportunity to get married, and they may miss out on the ideal age for giving birth.'
Beyond changing mindsets, society can also help in bringing singles together, said Mr Lee.
This is because some may find it hard to meet the right person, due to a small social circle, busy work schedules or not knowing how to woo the opposite sex, said Mr Lee.
One solution: Hold sessions for parents to help them find partners for their single children.
Such 'parental matchmaking sessions' take place in Beijing where parents trade educational information and photographs of their children.
The People's Association should consider doing this, while parents can advise their children to marry and start families early, said Mr Lee.
But he concluded by saying that getting married is ultimately a private affair and the Government can only help from the sidelines.
